[DUMBLEDORE] I should have known that you would be here, Professor McGonagall.
[McGONAGALL] Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus?
[DUMBLEDORE] I'm afraid so, Professor — the good and the bad.
[McGONAGALL] And the boy?
[DUMBLEDORE] Hagrid is bringing him.
[McGONAGALL] Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?
[DUMBLEDORE] Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life.
[HAGRID] Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall.
[DUMBLEDORE] No problems, I trust, Hagrid?
[HAGRID] No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. Try not to wake him. There you go.
[McGONAGALL] Do you really think it's safe, leaving him with these people? I've watched them all day. They're the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They really are.
[DUMBLEDORE] The only family he has.
[McGONAGALL] This boy will be famous. There won't be a child in our world who doesn't know his name.
[DUMBLEDORE] Exactly. He's far better off growing up away from all of that, until he is ready. Good luck, Harry Potter.
[AUNT PETUNIA] Up! Get up! Now! ...Cook the breakfast, and try not to burn anything.
[HARRY] Yes, Aunt Petunia.
[AUNT PETUNIA] I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day.
[UNCLE VERNON] Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy.
[HARRY] Yes, Uncle Vernon.
[AUNT PETUNIA] Aren't they wonderful, darling?
[HARRY] Thirty-six. I counted them myself.
[DUDLEY] Thirty-six?! But last year I had thirty-seven!
[UNCLE VERNON] Yes, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year.
[DUDLEY] I don't care how big they are!
[AUNT PETUNIA] No, no, no. This is what we're going to do: when we go out, we're going to buy you two new presents. How's that, pumpkin?
[UNCLE VERNON] I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week.
[HARRY] Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, watching people press their ugly faces in on you. Can you hear me? I've never talked to a snake before. Do you talk to people often? You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there? Do you miss your family? "Bred in captivity." I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents either.
[UNCLE VERNON] What happened?!
[HARRY] I swear, I don't know! One minute the glass was there, and then it was gone, like magic.
[UNCLE VERNON] There's no such thing as magic.
[DUDLEY] Dad! Look — Harry's got a letter!
[HARRY] Hey, give it back! It's mine!
[UNCLE VERNON] Yours? Who'd be writing to you?
[UNCLE VERNON] Fine day, Sunday. In my opinion, the best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?
[UNCLE VERNON] Right you are, Harry! No post on Sunday. No blasted letters today! No, sir. Not one single, blasted, miserable —
[UNCLE VERNON] Somewhere they can't find us!
[HAGRID] Sorry about that.
[UNCLE VERNON] I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!
[HAGRID] Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected — particularly round the middle.
[HAGRID] Well, of course you are. Got something for you. Afraid I might have sat on it at some point, but I imagine it'll taste fine just the same. Baked it myself, words and all. Happy birthday.
[HARRY] Thank you.
[HAGRID] It's not every day your young man turns eleven now, is it?
[HARRY] Excuse me — who are you?
[HAGRID] Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course, you'll know all about Hogwarts.
[HARRY] Sorry, no.
[HAGRID] No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all?
[HARRY] Learned what?
[HAGRID] You're a wizard, Harry.
[HARRY] I'm a — what?
[HAGRID] A wizard. And a thumping good 'un, I'd wager, once you've trained up a little.
[HARRY] No, you've made a mistake. I mean... I can't be a wizard. I mean, I'm just Harry. Just Harry.
[HAGRID] Well, "Just Harry" — did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain, when you were angry or scared?
[HARRY] "Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
[UNCLE VERNON] He will NOT be going! We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to all this rubbish.
[HARRY] You knew? You knew all along, and you never told me?
[AUNT PETUNIA] Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister, being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter — "We have a witch in the family, isn't it wonderful?" I was the only one to see her for what she was: a freak. And then she met that Potter, and then she had you, and I knew you'd be the same — just as strange, just as abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up, and we got landed with you.
[HARRY] Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash.
[HAGRID] A car crash? A car crash killed Lily and James Potter?
[AUNT PETUNIA] We had to say something.
[HAGRID] It's an outrage! It's a scandal!
[UNCLE VERNON] He'll not be going!
[HAGRID] And I suppose a great Muggle like yourself is going to stop him, are you?
[HARRY] Muggle?
[HAGRID] Non-magic folk. This boy's had his name down ever since he was born. He's going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the finest headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen — Albus Dumbledore.
[UNCLE VERNON] I will NOT pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!
[HAGRID] Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me.
[HARRY] I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that.
[HAGRID] Right. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic. A bit behind schedule. Best be off — unless you'd rather stay, of course.
[HARRY] "One standard size-two pewter cauldron"... and students may, if they desire, bring an owl, a cat, or a toad. Can we find all this in London?
[HAGRID] If you know where to go.
[TOM] Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume?
[HAGRID] No thanks, Tom, I'm on official Hogwarts business. Just helping young Harry here buy his school supplies.
[DORIS CROCKFORD] Welcome back, Mr. Potter. Welcome back. Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last.
[HAGRID] Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor Quirrell. He'll be your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
[QUIRRELL] F-fearfully fascinating subject. N-not that you need it, eh, P-Potter?
[HAGRID] Yes, well, must we go now? Lots to buy. Goodbye. See, Harry, you're famous.
[HARRY] But why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there — how is it they know who I am?
[HAGRID] I'm not sure I'm exactly the right person to tell you that, Harry. Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley. Here's where you get your quills and your ink. And over there, all your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry. Gringotts, the wizard bank. There's no safer place — not one — except perhaps Hogwarts.
[HARRY] What exactly are these things?
[HAGRID] They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come, goblins, but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stay close. Mr. Harry Potter wishes to make a withdrawal.
[HAGRID] Oh, wait a minute, got it here somewhere. Ha! There's the little devil. And there's something else as well. Professor Dumbledore gave me this. It's about You-Know-What in vault You-Know-Which.
[GRIPHOOK] Vault 687. Lamp, please. Key, please.
[HAGRID] Didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing now, did you?
[GRIPHOOK] Vault 713.
[HARRY] What's in there, Hagrid?
[HAGRID] Can't tell you, Harry. Hogwarts business. Very secret.
[GRIPHOOK] Stand back.
[HAGRID] Well, you'll want Ollivander's. There ain't no place better. Why don't you run along there and wait? I've just got one more thing I've got to do. Won't be long.
[HARRY] Hello? ...Hello?
[OLLIVANDER] I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here, buying their first wands. Here we are. Give it a wave. ...Apparently not. Perhaps... this?
[HARRY] No, definitely not.
[OLLIVANDER] No matter.
[HARRY] Sorry, but... what's curious?
[OLLIVANDER] I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather resides in your wand gave another feather — just one other. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand, when its brother gave you that scar.
[OLLIVANDER] We do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why. But I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. Terrible — yes — but great.
[HAGRID] You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet.
[HARRY] He killed my parents, didn't he — the one who gave me this? You know, Hagrid. I know you do.
[HAGRID] First — and understand this, Harry, because it's very important — not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago, there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V—... His name was V—...
[HARRY] Maybe if you wrote it down?
[HAGRID] No, I can't spell it. All right — Voldemort.
[HAGRID] It was dark times, Harry. Voldemort started to gather some followers — brought them over to the Dark Side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill them. Nobody. Not one — except you.
[HARRY] Me? Voldemort tried to kill me?
[HAGRID] Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse — an evil curse.
[HARRY] What happened to V— to You-Know-Who?
[HAGRID] Well, some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Nope — I reckon he's out there still, too tired to carry on. But one thing's absolutely certain: something about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous. That's why everybody knows your name. You're the boy who lived.
[HAGRID] Blimey, is that the time? Sorry, Harry, I'm gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore will be wanting his... well, he'll be wanting to see me. Now, your train leaves in ten minutes. Here's your ticket. Stick to it, Harry, that's very important. Stick to your ticket.
[HARRY] But Hagrid — there must be a mistake. This says Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. There's no such thing, is there?
[HARRY] Excuse me. Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where I might find Platform Nine and Three-Quarters?
[MOLLY WEASLEY] It's the same every year, packed with Muggles, of course. This way. Now, what's the platform number?
[FRED] Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother!
[HARRY] Excuse me. Could you tell me how to... how to get onto the platform?
[MOLLY WEASLEY] Not to worry, dear. It's Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. Now, all you've got to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms nine and ten. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Good luck.
[RON] I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley.
[RON] So it's true?! I mean, do you really have the... the...
[HARRY] We'll take the lot.
[RON] Whoa! Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?
[HARRY] They mean every flavour. There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe. George swore he got a bogey-flavoured one once.
[RON] These aren't real frogs, are they?
[HARRY] It's just a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want — each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. I've got about five hundred myself.
[RON] Watch it! ...That's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with.
[RON] Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? This is Scabbers, by the way. Pathetic, isn't he?
[RON] Fred gave me a spell to turn him yellow. Want to see?
[HERMIONE] Oh — are you doing magic? Let's see, then.
[HERMIONE] Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course, I've only tried a few simple ones myself, but they've all worked for me. For example: Oculus Reparo. That's better, isn't it? Holy cricket, you're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger. And you are...?
[HERMIONE] Pleasure. You two had better change into your robes; I expect we'll be arriving soon. You've got dirt on your nose, by the way. Did you know? Just there.
[HAGRID] Right, then! First years, this way, please! Come on now, follow me. This way to the boats. Come on now.
[McGONAGALL] In a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you can take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Now, while you're here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points; any rule-breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup. Trevor! ...Sorry. The Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily.
[DRACO] It's true, then, what they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. This is Crabbe and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley. You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.
[HARRY] I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.
[McGONAGALL] We're ready for you now. Follow me.
[RON] It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky.
[HERMIONE] I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.
[McGONAGALL] Will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words.
[DUMBLEDORE] I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you that the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.
[McGONAGALL] When I call your name, you will come forth. I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger.
[RON] Mental, that one. I'm telling you.
[SORTING HAT] Ah, right then... Gryffindor!
[DRACO] Draco Malfoy.
[SORTING HAT] Slytherin!
[RON] There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin.
[McGONAGALL] Susan Bones.
[HARRY] What is it?
[RON] Nothing. Nothing, I'm fine.
[SORTING HAT] Ha! Another Weasley! I know just what to do with you. Gryffindor!
[SORTING HAT] Hmm, difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent — oh yes — and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?
[SORTING HAT] Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know — it's all here, in your head — and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, there's no doubt about that. No? Well, if you're sure... better be... Gryffindor!
[DUMBLEDORE] Your attention, please. Let the feast begin.
[HARRY] Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?
[PERCY] Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrell's job for years.
[NEARLY HEADLESS NICK] Dismal. Once again, my request to join the Headless Hunt has been denied.
[NEARLY HEADLESS NICK] I prefer "Sir Nicholas," if you don't mind.
[PERCY] Gryffindors, follow me, please. Keep up. Thank you. This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases — they like to change. Keep up, please, and follow me. Quickly now. Come on.
[PERCY] Caput Draconis. Follow me, everyone. Keep up. Quickly. Come on. Gather around here. Welcome to the Gryffindor common room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left; girls, the same on your right. You'll find all your belongings have already been brought up.
[RON] Whew, made it. Can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late?
[McGONAGALL] Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocket watch. That way, one of you might be on time.
[RON] We got lost.
[McGONAGALL] Then perhaps a map. I trust you don't need one to find your seats.
[SNAPE] There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even put a stopper in death. Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to NOT pay attention. Mr. Potter — our new celebrity. Tell me: what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?
[HARRY] I don't know, sir.
[SNAPE] And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane? Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything — is it, Mr. Potter?
[SEAMUS] Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum. Eye of rabbit, harp string hum —
[RON] Hey, look — Neville's got a Remembrall!
[HERMIONE] I've read about those. When the smoke turns red, it means you've forgotten something. The only problem is, he can't remember what he's forgotten.
[HARRY] Hey, Ron — somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen: "Believed to be the work of dark wizards or witches unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day." That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to.
[MADAM HOOCH] Good afternoon, class.
[CLASS] Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.
[MADAM HOOCH] Good afternoon, Amanda. Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say "Up."
[EVERYONE] Up!
[MADAM HOOCH] Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight — you don't want to be sliding off the end. When I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle. Three — two —
[MADAM HOOCH] Mr. Longbottom! Mr. Longbottom! Come back down this instant! ...Oh dear, it's a broken wrist. Come on now, up you go. Everyone is to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say "Quidditch."
[DRACO] Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat arse.
[HARRY] Give it here, Malfoy.
[DRACO] No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. What's the matter, Potter — a bit beyond your reach?
[HERMIONE] Harry, no way! You heard what Madam Hooch said. Besides, you don't even know how to fly.
[HARRY] Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!
[DRACO] Is that so?
[HARRY] Have it your way, then.
[McGONAGALL] Professor Quirrell — excuse me, excuse me. Could I borrow Wood for a moment, please?
[QUIRRELL] Y-yes, of course.
[McGONAGALL] Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood — I have found you a Seeker.
[RON] Seeker? But first years never make the house teams. You must be the youngest Quidditch player in—
[FRED] Hey, well done, Harry. Wood's just told us. Fred and George are on the team too — Beaters.
[GEORGE] Our job is to make sure you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch — brutal. But no one's died in years. Someone'll vanish occasionally, but they'll turn up in a month or two.
[RON] Go on, Harry, Quidditch is great. Best game there is. And you'll be great too.
[HARRY] But I've never even played Quidditch. What if I make a fool of myself?
[RON] You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood.
[HARRY] You never told me your father was a Seeker too.
[RON] I didn't know.
[HARRY] Let's go this way before the staircase moves again.
[HERMIONE] We're not supposed to be here. This is the third floor. It's forbidden.
[HARRY] It's Filch's cat! Let's hide through that door!
[RON] Filch is gone.
[HERMIONE] He probably thinks this door's locked.
[HERMIONE] And for good reason.
[HARRY] Didn't you see what it was standing on?
[RON] I wasn't looking at its feet — I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice: there were three.
[HARRY] It was standing on a trapdoor — which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.
[HERMIONE] Guarding something? That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed — or worse, expelled.
[RON] She needs to sort out her priorities.
[OLIVER WOOD] Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each team has seven players: three Chasers, two Beaters, one Keeper, and the Seeker — that's you. There are three kinds of balls. This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the Chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. The Keeper — me — defends the hoops. With me so far?
[OLIVER WOOD] You'd better take this. Careful now, it's coming back. Not bad, Potter — you'd make a fair Beater.
[OLIVER WOOD] Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But you — you are the Seeker. The only thing I want you to worry about is this: the Golden Snitch.
[OLIVER WOOD] Ah, you like it now — just wait. It's wicked fast, and damn near impossible to see.
[HARRY] What do I do with it?
[OLIVER WOOD] You catch it — before the other team's Seeker. You catch this, the game is over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.
[FLITWICK] One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation — the ability to make objects fly. Do you have your feathers? Good. Now, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practising — the swish and flick. Everyone: swish and flick. And enunciate: "Wingardium Leviosa." Off you go, then.
[RON] Wingardium Leviosa. Wingardium Leviosa.
[HERMIONE] Stop, stop, stop! You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you're saying it wrong. It's Levi-O-sa, not Levio-SAR.
[RON] You do it, then, if you're so clever. Go on, go on.
[HERMIONE] Wingardium Leviosa.
[FLITWICK] Oh, well done! See here, everyone — Miss Granger's done it! Splendid!
[RON] It's Levi-O-sa, not Levio-SAR. She's a nightmare, honestly. No wonder she hasn't got any friends.
[HARRY] I think she heard you.
[HARRY] Where's Hermione?
[NEVILLE] Parvati Patil said she wouldn't come out of the girls' bathroom. She said she'd been in there all afternoon, crying.
[QUIRRELL] Troll! In the dungeon! Troll in the dungeon! ...Thought you ought to know.
[DUMBLEDORE] Silence! Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons.
[PERCY] Gryffindors, keep up, please, and stay alert!
[HARRY] How could a troll get in?
[RON] Not on its own. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes.
[HARRY] What?
[RON] Hermione! She doesn't know.
[HARRY] I think it's heading into the girls' bathroom!
[RON] Troll bogeys.
[McGONAGALL] Oh — oh, my goodness! Explain yourselves, both of you!
[HERMIONE] It's my fault, Professor McGonagall.
[McGONAGALL] Miss Granger?
[HERMIONE] I went looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn't come and found me, I'd probably be dead.
[McGONAGALL] Be that as it may, it was an extremely foolish thing to do. I would have expected far more rational behaviour on your part, and I am very disappointed in you, Miss Granger. Five points will be taken from Gryffindor for your serious lack of judgement. As for you two gentlemen — well, I just hope you realise how fortunate you are. Not many first-year students could take on a fully grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale. Five points will be awarded to each of you. For sheer dumb luck.
[RON] Take a bit of toast, mate. Go on.
[HERMIONE] Ron's right, Harry — you're going to need your strength today.
[HARRY] I'm not hungry.
[SNAPE] Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you — even if it is against Slytherin.
[RON] That explains the blood.
[RON] Listen — last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as a diversion so he could try and get past that three-headed dog. But he got himself bitten. That's why he's limping.
[RON] The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the vaults. Said it was Hogwarts business, very secret.
[HARRY] So you're saying that's what the dog's guarding? That's what Snape wants?
[RON] A broomstick! That's not just a broomstick, Harry — it's a Nimbus 2000!
[OLIVER WOOD] That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game.
[OLIVER WOOD] I don't really remember. I took a Bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in hospital a week later.
[MADAM HOOCH] Now, I want a nice, clean game — from all of you.
[LEE JORDAN] The Bludgers are up, followed by the Golden Snitch. Remember, the Snitch is worth 150 points. The Seeker who catches the Snitch ends the game. The Quaffle is released, and the game begins! Gryffindor takes possession of the Quaffle. ...And Slytherin takes possession — Captain Marcus Flint.
[HAGRID] Looks like he's gonna be sick.
[HERMIONE] Nonsense. Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?
[RON] Who knows? Why was he trying to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween?
[HAGRID] Who told you about Fluffy?
[HAGRID] That thing's got a name?
[HAGRID] Well, of course it's got a name — it's mine. I bought him off an Irish fella I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the—
[HARRY] Yes?
[HAGRID] Shouldn't have said that. No more questions. Don't ask any more questions. That's top secret, that is.
[HARRY] But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it.
[HAGRID] Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher.
[HARRY] Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one. I've read all about them — you've got to keep eye contact, and Snape wasn't blinking.
[HERMIONE] Exactly.
[HAGRID] Now, you listen to me, all three of you. You're meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel.
[HARRY] Nicolas Flamel?
[HAGRID] ...I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that.
[HARRY] Who's Nicolas Flamel?
[RON] Knight to E5.
[HARRY] Queen to E5. ...That's totally barbaric.
[HERMIONE] That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed.
[HERMIONE] Change of plans. My parents decided to go to Romania to visit my brother Charlie. He's studying dragons there.
[RON] Good. You can help Harry, then. He's going to look in the library for information on Nicolas Flamel.
[HERMIONE] We've looked a hundred times.
[HARRY] Not in the Restricted Section. Happy Christmas.
[RON] I think we had a bad influence on her. Happy Christmas, Harry.
[HARRY] Happy Christmas, Ron. What are you wearing?
[RON] Oh — Mum made it. Looks like you've got one too.
[HARRY] "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well." What is it?
[HARRY] Well, let's see, then. Put it on.
[RON] I know what that is! That's an Invisibility Cloak!
[HARRY] There was no name. It just said, "Use it well."
[SNAPE] Show yourself. I don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell.
[SNAPE] You know perfectly well what I mean. We'll have a little chat soon — when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie.
[FILCH] Students out of bed! ...It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed.
[HARRY] Ron! You've really got to see this! There's something you've got to see! Come on!
[RON] ...You only see us.
[HARRY] Look in properly. Go on, stand there. There. You see them, don't you?
[RON] That's me! Only, I'm Head Boy! And I'm holding the Quidditch Cup. And — bloody hell, I'm Quidditch Captain too! Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?
[HARRY] How can it? Both my parents are dead.
[DUMBLEDORE] Back again, Harry? I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realise what it does. Let me give you a clue: the happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is.
[HARRY] So then... it shows us what we want? Whatever we want?
[DUMBLEDORE] Yes... and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts. Now, you, who have never known your family, see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry: this mirror gives us neither knowledge nor truth. Men have wasted away in front of it. That is why, tomorrow, it will be moved to a new home, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again.
[HERMIONE] I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I have been so stupid? This is light reading.
[HERMIONE] Of course! Here it is: "Nicolas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone."
[RON] The what?
[HERMIONE] Honestly — don't you two read? "The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will transform any metal into pure gold, and produces the Elixir of Life, which makes the drinker immortal."
[RON] Immortal?
[HERMIONE] It means you'll never die.
[RON] I know what it means!
[HERMIONE] "The only Stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicolas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his six hundred and sixty-fifth birthday."
[HARRY] That's what Fluffy's guarding on the third floor! That's what's under the trapdoor — the Philosopher's Stone!
[HARRY] Hagrid!
[HAGRID] Oh — hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today.
[HARRY] We know about the Philosopher's Stone.
[HAGRID] Oh.
[RON] We think Snape's trying to steal it.
[HAGRID] Snape? Blimey, you're not still on about him, are you?
[HERMIONE] Hagrid, we know he's after the Stone — we just don't know why.
[HAGRID] Snape is one of the teachers protecting the Stone. He's not about to steal it.
[HARRY] What?
[HAGRID] You heard. Right, come on now, I'm a bit preoccupied today.
[RON] Wait a minute — one of the teachers?
[HARRY] Of course! There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments.
[HAGRID] That's right. A waste of bloody time, if you ask me. Ain't no one going to get past Fluffy — ain't a soul knows how, except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I should not have told you that.
[HARRY] ...Hagrid, what exactly is that?
[HAGRID] That? It's, uh... it's, um...
[RON] I know what that is. Hagrid, how did you get one?
[HAGRID] I won it off a stranger I met down in the pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid of it, as a matter of fact.
[RON] That's not just a dragon — that's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania.
[HAGRID] Isn't he beautiful? Oh, bless him — look, he knows his mummy. Hello, Norbert.
[HAGRID] Well, he's gotta have a name, don't he?
[RON] Hagrid always wanted a dragon. He told me so the first time I ever met him.
[RON] I don't understand. Is that bad?
[McGONAGALL] Good evening. Nothing — I repeat, nothing — gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, fifty points will be taken.
[McGONAGALL] Each. And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four of you will receive detention.
[DRACO] Excuse me, Professor — perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said the four of us.
[McGONAGALL] No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see, honourable as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will join your classmates in detention.
[FILCH] A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming. You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the Dark Forest. Sorry lot, this, Hagrid.
[FILCH] Oh, God, man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are you?
[HAGRID] Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony.
[HAGRID] Yeah, but what if he don't like Romania? What if the other dragons are mean to him? He's only a baby, after all.
[FILCH] Oh, for God's sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the forest, after all — got to have your wits about you.
[HARRY] The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there — students aren't allowed. And there are... werewolves.
[FILCH] There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure of that. Nighty-night.
[HARRY] What are we here for?
[HAGRID] See that? That's unicorn blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been hurt bad by something. So it's our job to go and find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me.
[RON] Okay.
[HAGRID] Harry, you'll go with Malfoy.
[DRACO] Okay. Then I get Fang.
[HAGRID] Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward.
[DRACO] You wait till my father hears about this. This is servant's stuff.
[HARRY] If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared.
[DRACO] Scared, Potter? ...Did you hear that? Come on, Fang!
[FIRENZE] Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many here. The forest is not safe at this time — especially for you.
[HARRY] But what was that thing you saved me from?
[FIRENZE] A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death — but at a terrible price. For you have slain something so pure that, from the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have but a half-life — a cursed life.
[HARRY] But who would choose such a life?
[FIRENZE] Can you think of no one?
[HARRY] Do you mean to say that that thing that killed the unicorn, that was drinking its blood — that was Voldemort?
[FIRENZE] Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment, Mr. Potter?
[HAGRID] Hello there!
[FIRENZE] Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck.
[HARRY] Voldemort's in the forest, but he's weak. He's living off the unicorns. Don't you see? We had it wrong. Snape doesn't want the Stone for himself — he wants the Stone for Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll come back.
[RON] But if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to... kill you, do you?
[HARRY] I think, if he'd had the chance, he might have tried to kill me tonight.
[RON] And to think I've been worried about my Potions final.
[HERMIONE] Hang on a minute — we're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared? Dumbledore. As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched.
[HERMIONE] I'd always heard Hogwarts' end-of-year exams were frightful, but I found that rather enjoyable.
[RON] Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry?
[HARRY] My scar keeps burning.
[RON] It's happened before.
[HARRY] Not like this.
[HERMIONE] Perhaps you should see the nurse.
[HARRY] I think it's a warning. It means danger's coming. Don't you think it's a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything is a dragon, and a stranger just happens to turn up who has one? I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs in their pockets? Why didn't I see it before?
[HARRY] Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg? What did he look like?
[HAGRID] I don't know. I never saw his face — he kept his hood up.
[HARRY] This stranger, though — you and he must have talked.
[HAGRID] Well, he wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I told him — I said, "After Fluffy, a dragon's going to be no problem."
[HARRY] Did he seem interested in Fluffy?
[HAGRID] Well, of course he was interested in Fluffy. How often do you come across a three-headed dog, even if you're in the trade? But I told him — I said, the trick with any beast is to know how to calm him. Take Fluffy, for example: just play him a bit of music, and he falls straight to sleep.
[HAGRID] ...I shouldn't have told you that.
[HARRY] I have to see Professor Dumbledore immediately!
[McGONAGALL] I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London.
[HARRY] He's gone? But this is important — this is about the Philosopher's Stone!
[McGONAGALL] How do you know about it?
[HARRY] Someone's going to try and steal it.
[McGONAGALL] I don't know how you three found out about the Stone, but I assure you it is perfectly well protected. Now, would you go back to your dormitories — quietly.
[HARRY] That was no stranger Hagrid met in the village. It was Snape — which means he knows how to get past Fluffy. And with Dumbledore gone—
[SNAPE] Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?
[HERMIONE] We... we were just—
[SNAPE] You want to be careful. People will think you're up to something.
[NEVILLE] You're sneaking out again, aren't you?
[HARRY] Now, Neville, listen — we were—
[NEVILLE] No! I won't let you! You'll get Gryffindor into trouble again. I'll fight you!
[HERMIONE] Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this. Petrificus Totalus!
[RON] You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant, but scary.
[HARRY] Let's go.
[HARRY] Wait a minute — he's snoring. Someone's put a spell on the harp.
[RON] Ugh, he's got horrible breath.
[HARRY] We have to move its paw.
[HARRY] Come on. Okay — push. I'll go first. Don't follow until I give you a sign. If something bad happens, get yourselves out. Does it seem a bit quiet to you?
[RON] The harp's stopped playing.
[HERMIONE] Stop moving, both of you! This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax — if you don't, it'll only kill you faster.
[RON] Kill us faster?! Oh, now I can relax!
[HERMIONE] Do what I say!
[HARRY] He's not relaxing, is he?
[HERMIONE] Apparently not.
[HARRY] We've got to do something!
[RON] What?!
[HERMIONE] I remember reading something in Herbology — "Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare, it's deadly fun, but will sulk in the sun." That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! Lumos Solem!
[HARRY] Ron! Are you okay?
[RON] Yeah, okay.
[HARRY] Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology. What is that?
[RON] I don't know. Sounds like wings.
[HARRY] I've never seen birds like these.
[HERMIONE] They're not birds — they're keys! And I'll bet one of them fits that door.
[RON] What's this all about?
[RON] What are we going to do? There must be a thousand keys.
[HERMIONE] We're looking for a big, old-fashioned one — probably rusty, like the handle.
[RON] If Snape could catch this on a broomstick, you can — you're the youngest Seeker in a century. It complicates things a bit.
[RON] I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Where are we?
[HARRY] This is no graveyard. Now what do we do?
[RON] It's obvious, isn't it? We're gonna have to play our way across the room. All right, Harry, you take the empty Bishop's square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen-side Castle. And as for me, I'll be a Knight.
[HARRY] Ron — you don't suppose this is going to be like real wizard's chess, do you?
[HARRY] Wait — the Queen will take me, then you're free to check the King.
[HERMIONE] No, you can't — there must be another way!
[RON] Do you want to stop Snape from getting that Stone or not? Harry, it's you that has to go on, I know it. Not me, not Hermione — you. Knight to H3.
[HERMIONE] He'll be okay.
[HERMIONE] You're a great wizard, Harry. You really are.
[HARRY] Not as good as you.
[HERMIONE] Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things — friendship, and bravery. And, Harry — just be careful.
[HARRY] You? No — it can't be. Snape, he was the—
[QUIRRELL] Yes, he does seem the type, doesn't he? Next to him, who would suspect p-poor, st-stuttering Professor Quirrell?
[HARRY] But that day, during the Quidditch match, Snape tried to kill me.
[QUIRRELL] No, dear boy — I tried to kill you. And trust me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fire and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded — even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.
[HARRY] Snape was trying to save me?
[QUIRRELL] I knew you were a danger to me right from the off, especially after Halloween.
[HARRY] Then you let the troll in!
[QUIRRELL] Very good, Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn't fooled. While everyone else was running about the dungeon, he went to the third floor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He barely left me alone. But he doesn't understand — I'm never alone. Never. Now... what does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the Stone. But how do I get it?
[QUIRRELL] Come here, Potter. Now! Tell me — what do you see?
[HARRY] I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the House Cup.
[VOLDEMORT] He lies.
[QUIRRELL] Tell the truth! What do you see?
[QUIRRELL] Master, you are not strong enough.
[VOLDEMORT] I have strength enough for this. Harry Potter — we meet again. Yes — you see what I've become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another. A mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can — something that, conveniently enough, lies in your pocket! Stop him! Don't be a fool. Why suffer a horrific death, when you can join me and live? Would you like to see your mother and father again? Together, we can bring them back. All I ask for is something in return. That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil — there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Together, we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the Stone!
[QUIRRELL] What is this magic?
[VOLDEMORT] Fool! Get the Stone!
[DUMBLEDORE] Good afternoon, Harry. Tokens from your admirers?
[HARRY] Admirers?
[DUMBLEDORE] What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows. Ah — I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs.
[HARRY] Ron was here? Is he all right? What about Hermione?
[DUMBLEDORE] Fine. They're both just fine.
[HARRY] What happened to the Stone?
[DUMBLEDORE] Relax, dear boy — the Stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicolas and I have had a little chat, and agreed it was best, all things considered.
[HARRY] But then Flamel — he'll die, won't he?
[DUMBLEDORE] He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he will die.
[HARRY] How is it I got the Stone, sir? One minute I was staring into the mirror, and the next—
[DUMBLEDORE] Ah, you see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone — find it, but not use it — would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me, that is saying something.
[HARRY] Does that mean, with the Stone gone, that Voldemort can never come back?
[DUMBLEDORE] Ah... I'm afraid there are ways in which he can return. Harry — do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark. No, no — this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin.
[HARRY] What is it?
[DUMBLEDORE] Love, Harry. Love. Ah — Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit-flavoured one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them. But I think I could be safe with a nice toffee. ...Hmm. Alas — earwax.
[DUMBLEDORE] Another year gone. And now, as I understand it, the House Cup needs awarding. The points stand thus: in fourth place, Gryffindor, with three hundred and twelve points; in third place, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and fifty-two points; in second place, Ravenclaw, with four hundred and twenty-six points; and in first place, with four hundred and seventy-two points, Slytherin House. Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last-minute points to award. To Miss Hermione Granger, for the cool use of intellect while others were in grave peril — fifty points. Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years — fifty points. And third, to Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor House sixty points. And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award ten points to Neville Longbottom. Assuming my calculations are correct, I believe a change of decoration is in order. Gryffindor wins the House Cup!
[HAGRID] Come on, now — train's leaving. Go on, go on, hurry up.
[RON] Come on, Harry.
[HARRY] One minute.
[HAGRID] Thought you were leaving without saying goodbye, did you? This is for you.
[HARRY] Thanks, Hagrid.
[HAGRID] Oh, now, listen, Harry — if that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief, you could always threaten him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his.
[HARRY] But Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know that.
[HAGRID] I do. But your cousin don't, do he?
[HARRY] Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?
[HARRY] I'm not going home. Not really.